THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE (ABRIDGED)
A Review by Tom Stobart

WHEELING, W.Va. (March 9, 2009) - - In preparation for writing this review, I pocketed a small notebook, a pen and my glasses before heading off to Towngate for opening night of “The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged).” I took my seat. The performance began.

For awhile, a little while, I dutifully scribbled a few notes, very few, along the lines of “Tim/Titus/Julia Child . . . rap Othello . . . Macbeth/plaid/Scot, burrs . . .” before abandoning the notebook and sitting back in my seat to regard the mini-spectacle erupting before me in gape-mouthed astonishment.

There is no plot. Basically, three amazing actors named Tim Thompson, Mario Muscar and Ryan Sears portray three actors named Tim, Mario and Ryan, who, for reason of their own, are intent upon squeezing all of the Bard’s 37 plays into a 90-minute program.

Needless to say, many of the plays receive extremely short shrift. All of the Comedies get dumped into one nonsensical stewpot, while the Histories are passed over- and literally passed- in a pantomimed football game in which all three actors take turns impersonating Myron Cope doing the “play-by-play.” I think it was Myron Cope.

The boys pay a bit more homage to several of the Tragedies. Oh, what a fetching Juliet is Mr. Sears, bafflingly coiffed in blonde Brunhilda pigtails, which he rotates like airplane propellers, while black-wigged Mr. Muscar moons about as the frumpiest Romeo imaginable.

At the end of the first act, the actors realize that they have managed to at least nod toward all of Shakespeare’s plays except one- “Hamlet”- their “production” of which comprises the second act. I will not tell you what they do to “Hamlet.” I cannot—and wouldn’t if I could. Hold onto your seats.

If there is a glue holding these shenanigans together, it is surely Mr. Thompson as the “scholarly” member of this motley troupe, the only one at all who seems to know anything at all about Shakespeare, his mock-academic introduction to the program sets the tone; his subsequent impersonation of cooking show maven Child explodes it.

Guest director Dave Henderson must be credited for the roller coaster pacing and for guiding the always-precise pantomime. Mention must also be made of the unidentified audience member who was corralled into joining the trio on stage to play Ophelia. As directed, she let out a scream so bloodcurdling that I was certain she must have been a plant, which I am assured she was not.

This mad pastiche was credited by Adam Long, Daniel Singer and Jess Winfield, who also comprised the original cast. I can’t imagine their having been funnier than these guys. This is ensemble clowning of the highest order. It is far too cerebral to be written as Stoogie. Indeed, it is Marxist – of the Groucho/Harpo/Chico variety- and a merrier compliment I could not pay.

The production concludes its run tonight and tomorrow at 8 p.m. at Oglebay Institute’s Towngate Theatre, 2110 Market Street. To reserve seats, call the Stifel Fine Arts Center at 304-242-7700. For those buying seats at the door, Towngate’s box office opens one hour before curtain and can be reached at 304.233.4257.